Day 23 - Give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.

Viggo Mortensen, Paul Newman, Michael Fassbender, Gregory Peck and Jon Kortajarena.

Day 22 - How have you changed in the past 2 years? 

In many ways I have stayed the same, and I have also changed in many ways. I watch what I say more, I am much more aware of how words can hurt, and even my tone of voice can rub people the wrong way, so it is a continuous effort for me to hold my tongue when I have the most perfect smart ass remark when I hear someone say something. I know I can sound sharp and blunt, and that’s okay, but I don’t want to hurt anyone or make them feel like I am mocking them. 

I am more laid back and okay with being alone. Seriously I am the most boring person in the entire universe. All I do is eat and (lately) look up videos of Andrea Bocelli and Ghost Adventures. Two years ago, I would just sit and my room and cry because I was single and no one liked me and I was fat, blah blah blah. That’s still true, but now I don’t care, muhahahahaha *stuffs cookie in mouth*, *continues maniacal laughter with cookie in mouth*.

I laugh at myself more, I am 10x more confident and I am just in a good place. I cry more often and laugh more often, that’s the universal cure, I swear it.

Day 21 - One of your favorite shows. 

I started watching Ghost Adventures a couple years ago, and I honestly don’t know why because ghost shows aren’t my thing at all. I started watching it more frequently until I was watching it on a daily basis on Netflix and I am totally obsessed with it now. I’m not even sure if I believe in ghosts, but I’m not saying I don’t. There are definitely unexplained things that happen on the show. A lot of people write it off as being fake and take it as a joke, and honestly it is probably the funniest show I watch. I don’t think it is fake though, I think there have been incidents where noises and EVPS have been simply noises, not caused by anything paranormal. But for the most part I think it’s genuine. It is definitely my favorite show at the moment, and I have been watching it forever. It is seriously hilarious though, Aaron’s *gasp* face and I seriously want to make a t-shirt with that face and underneath it have it say “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOOOD!!” And Zak is just like a total diva and then he runs away and screams when shit goes down and then just gets pissed and goes back to face it. And how many times he has become partially possessed and one time he started singing and like it was the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. I know it’s terrible, but I am just laughing my ass off every time I watch the show, and then sometimes I am freaking out with them. I’m rambling now. I’m pretty sure I have seen nearly every episode.

Day 19 - Disrespecting your parents. 

In my mom’s house I was raised in a very free environment. I was never forced to do anything I didn’t want to. My mom and stepdad let me do whatever I wanted and develope as my own person, and that was apparent even as a young age. My father was incredibly old school and enforced rules at his house. You didn’t talk back to him, you just didn’t because you were scared of what would happen. I was on my best behavior at his house, there was just this unspoken rule, we were angles there. We weren’t living in fear, but we knew the consequences would suck if we disobeyed. I think that was a good balance for me.

My mom is more of my best friend than my mom, she puts me in my place when I start to treat her as my equal though. I respect that and I respect her. She is an amazing woman and she is my mother, she has always loved me and showed that and supported me. I have no reason to disrespect her, hurt her feelings or disregard her authority. I do disrespect her sometimes by backtalking, having a “sarcastic tone”, which kind of bothers me because sometimes I honestly don’t feel like I was saying something to be a smartass. When I was younger I would challenge her when she would tell me to watch my tongue, but now I just shut up and stop talking all together; because I am too proud to apologize right away, but not stupid enough to argue.

I have never back-talked my dad, ever. I’m too scared. He is very different from how he was when I was younger, but still. If I made up an excuse for not doing the dishes, and he always knew it was a lie, I got pushed around and threatened to be spanked- when I was 12. Then sent to my room until dinner. He got off work at 1. It sucked, so yeah. I never gave him lip. 

When I see other kids treat their parents like shit I can’t help but think “What kind of person are they? Do I really know them?” Nice kids can turn into mean trolls when they talk to their parents. I understand it if their parents are rude to them in the first place, and I have friends whose parents openly insult them on a daily basis. I would go crazy if I lived in a house like that. But I don’t know, if someone has nice parents, they need to be treated with respect at least. The way I was raised is you respect people if they respect you, and try to even if they don’t. Politeness and respect get you farther than you think, but I do believe in sticking up for yourself. When adults take advantage of their authority is when someone needs to put them in their place. I hate bullies of any kind, and sometimes parents and teachers bully kids, which is not okay at all. I am rambling now.

Day 18 - Your beliefs. 

I believe people will live in darkness if they don’t know their purpose in this life.
I believe in God.
I believe people must change and grow.
I believe happiness is fleeting, you can never have it for long periods of time.
The purest form of joy is found in God.
Laughter is the best medicine.
Lots of siblings are the shit.
Nostalgia is one of the most torturous emotions.
I believe children are the purest beings to walk this earth.
Something that destroyed you years ago is your strength today.
People are good.
I believe music can take you anywhere you let it.
There is no such thing as too much daydreaming.
I believe in love.
I believe we see God everywhere.
Life must be savored.
I believe in forgiveness and grace.
Macaroni and cheese is the bomb.
Dogs are better than cats.
Telling the truth and being called rude is better than lying.
I believe talking can solve more than we think.
I believe in friendship.
I believe we all have a soul mate.
I believe we can learn from history more than we can from the present.
I believe in success.
I believe Ghirardelli chocolate is a gift to me from God.

Day 17 - Your highs and lows of this past year. 

My lows have definitely been dealing with depression and spiritual oppression, my brother moving to California and my sister’s drug problem. That was the worst time of my life. The highs have been the birth of my second niece, Aurelius.

Visiting Europe in the summer and seeing my dad get sober and STAY SOBER. 2011 started off like shit and then just got better and better, 2012 is a little rocky right now, but nothing compared to last year. I’m still in a great place.

Day 16 - Your views on mainstream music. 

There are some “mainstream” artists and bands I like, but I mostly listen to the few bands that I really love, which vary in decades. I think the music business has a lack of genuine talent and a passion for the craft. The biggest problem is how much evolves around popularity and image rather than raw vocal and theatrical talent. There are a few bands/artists I love though: Coldplay, Adele, John Legend and Gwen Stefani. Yeah, four. Hahaha.

Day 14 - Your earliest memory. 

When I was 2 I remember writing on our freezer out in the garage of our green and white house. I remember the smell of the pen and trying to write my name, but it didn’t look how I wanted it to. I also remember sitting on the garage steps eating dog food, which I remember exactly what it tasted like. It was really salty and earthy. And my brother holding me and us spitting on our wood stove. I remember getting spanked by my dad and crying on the couch. We moved out of that house when I was 3, so this all happened before then. I can’t believe I remember so much. It’s weird. I know where everyone’s rooms were, I remember what my parents’ room smelled like.

Day 13 - Somewhere you’d like to move or visit. 

I love deserts, so Eastern Oregon, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico. Any of those. Ideally I would live in Europe in Nice, France or Florence, Italy. If I listed all of these places it would be ridiculous, so I’ll leave it at this. 

Day 12 - Bullet your whole day. 

• woke up, got dressed
• did hair and makeup
• ate piece of gum for breakfast
• sat in cold car on the way to school
• got to school 
• walked around alone until the bell rang
• sat in history for 88 glorious minutes (my favorite class)
• went to stupid school thing and watched Kung Fu Panda
• sat in algebra and got my shit done
• ate lunch with friends and shared secrets about me
• read my book and sat in the office during my office aid period
• went to French and sat there doing nothing and laughing at the waves of diarrhea farts torturing me from the girl at the next table
• got mickey d’s
• ate food and watched GA
• now I’m here.